Friday, 27 August 2010

The Day Thou Gavest Lord has Ended


I look at the date at the top of my last post and realize how long it was since I put anything on here. There's a reason for that. There are in fact a dozen reasons for that and I can't mention one of them. In the parish I dealt with people's life issues on a daily basis and was trusted to share their struggles and concerns and joys and pleasures. Once in a while, maybe once every couple of months or so, there would be something big; I would be invited into one of those issues which, when the narrative of that person's existence was told, that event would have a place in the story. Sharing those issues was both compelling and draining, requiring me to plumb the limits of my reserves of empathy and understanding, but also invigorating me with fresh insights into the workings of us, peculiar, sentient islands of consciousness that we are. Now, in this office into which the Holy Spirit has, for bizarre and obscure reasons called me, I share such moments on an almost daily basis. Today there were four of them.

I can not, will not speak of these things except, in a limited way, to my supervisor and  those to whom the people involved have given me permission to speak. So for the most part I keep my trap shut and find ways other than gossip and conversation to earth the loose wires which such sharings discover within me. I have been reading a lot. I have been kneeling on a mat with an old cloak around my shoulders, keeping as still, inside and out, as I can manage. I have taken up my old regime of reading 4 chapters of the Bible every day. I have also, slowly, been shaping a plan for the diocese and trying to acquit myself well in the duties required of me. I have been slopping paint on the walls of my newly build study and looking forward to the time when I can fill it's shelves with the books that have been piled in the garage for months now. Unfortunately, the Lord hath not seen fit to comply with my special pleading and order the universe around my whims, so the day he giveth endeth after only 24 hours and some things which might have helped have gone undone. I haven't been taking any photos, and in fact haven't seen my camera's battery charger since it got lost, months ago, somewhere amongst the cartons of books. I haven't been fulfilling my obligations to Taonga magazine. And I haven't been posting on Available Light.

Today's duties ended at 8:30 this evening. Whew. The darkness falls at thy behest, and thanks for that.

Tomorrow it's a drive to Invercargill and an Ultreya and a conversation in a cafe and a drive to Dunedin and a party. Sunday it's Otago Peninsula and evensong with the girls from the Tolcarne boarding hostel. Then on Monday I head for the theological hui in Auckland which means three days of  listening to learned discourse and intense discussion of the same: i.e. a rest cure. I' ll see if I can write about that. Really I will.

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5 comments:

Peter Carrell said...

Your writing is always worth the wait between postings :)

Roscoe Mishmack said...

Hear, hear!

daharja said...

I know what you mean about there being so many things you'd like to blog about, and talk about, and share, but can't.

I'm naturally a talker, so having to keep silence on a number of issues in my life recently has also taken its toll. Mostly I just feel sad.

All I can say is, you are doing the work you are meant to do - I don't think anyone seeing you in action could ever doubt that!

As for the blog, well, if we have to wait a little longer until we see another beautiful photo, or read your words, that's of no significance.

Not only will we know it will be worth the wait because of the wisdom and beauty we know you'll share, but also because there will always be a good reason for the silence between the times you share.

Take care.

Merv said...

In 1972 I was in the final intake of Compulsory Military Training at Waiouru. I didn't enjoy it.

But the Chaplain held a church service, bless his heart, and played a recording of 'The Day Thou Gavest' by a Scots pipe band. I was deeply moved & it impacted my life.

How does the mysterious Ruach of God move through obedient servants such as yourself & that chaplain, perhaps without them even knowing it?

Elaine Dent said...

We can wait. And thank you for giving us a glimpse that being on our knees takes priority over posting on the blog.