Here's a secret. I learned it this past Lent. If you want to change your life, meditate for an hour a day. The changes won't happen immediately but they will happen.
Don't just do something, sit there.
Be quiet for a change.
The psychologist Carl Rogers coined a phrase, Unconditional Positive Regard, to express the attitude required of a counsellor towards the one who comes for counsel. By it he meant that no matter what was said or done, the counsellor offers support and acceptance. The extension of this regard gives an environment in which the vast resources within the client can be mobilised for their own healing.
I don't know where the humanist Carl Rogers got his phrase from, but it seems that great minds think alike, for this is the attitude God extends towards us. Jesus said, Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. I think he meant this: get out of your own way. All that stuff you have been trying all your life; the stuff that has never quite worked: why do you persist with it?
So, sit still, and let go, as far as you can, the old life; that is, the insulating layers you have so carefully erected between you and God; and God's unconditional positive regard for you, which is always there, will be revealed. And will be allowed to work for your good.