Skip to main content

Journey

There's something I don't quite get: why would anybody pay good money for a treadmill when there's a perfectly good footpath just outside their front door? I guess there are some perceived advantages to staying nice and safe and cosy inside your house while you walk, but there are great disadvantages too. Namely, that it is nice and safe and cosy. We walk out of our little street, turn left and head up the hill. There is a bit of a wind from the South and the sky is threatening rain.  At the dirt path on Highcliff Road we begin the gut busting slog up steps which are never in quite the right place, and stop halfway up on the pretext of taking in the view. The hills shield the harbour from the wind so the water is silvery and still. "Look at where we live", she says. I take a picture. I can't hope to capture the grandeur of what lies just past our place, but I try. We walk on and down the other side with my thigh muscles asking what the heck do I think I'm on about with every step of the long steep descent. And this is all part of it. The sky and the hills and the sea; the tussock and the birds and the gorse; the wind and the rain and the watery sunshine. All jumbled up in a sensory salad of challenge and ease, pain and pleasure, hot and cold, sweat and breath and effort and ease. Like the rest of life. Every walk is a little Camino. Every walk is a little sacrament of our longer journey.
****
A friend sends me a text. "sorry to hear your cancer is back." Well, that didn't take long for the news to spread - the Anglican Church is, after all, one of the mass media. I'm grateful for the well wishes, but actually the cancer isn't back. It never went away. When I was diagnosed in 2008 I was told that it could be contained, but it wasn't curable, and over the last 11 years we've managed to contain it pretty well. A few years back it started to grow alarmingly, but every three months since then, a shot of gunk under the skin on my belly (of which I have plenty) has kept it quiescent. This wasn't an end to my cancer story, just another part of the journey, and this year, it seems that the gunk is losing its effectiveness. So sometime soon I'll meet with the people who know about these things and discuss what might be next. There is, apparently, a range of things they can try. None of them will cure it, but some will keep it at bay for a while longer. And what's a while? Your guess is as good as mine. And in the meantime I'll keep fit, eat well, meditate and walk, and expect a life as rich and blessed and wonderful as the last 11 years have been.
****
I've been re reading C S Lewis lately. The Great Divorce. The Narnia Chronicles. Soon I'll start the Space Trilogy and my very favourite, 'Til We Have Faces. Interspersed with the fiction I'm reading the essays. These are books which helped form my faith back in the day but I haven't read them in decades. Superficially they have dated - language, and social attitudes seem old fashioned - but there is a powerful simplicity about them which belies the rigour of their philosophical and theological and devotional under girding. It's interesting to see how far I have moved on the journey of faith since I last read them. And, how little.

Comments

Peter Carrell said…
Dear Kelvin,
I hadn’t heard that. (I’ll sack the Anglican grapevine managers.)
Prayers ascending.
Peter
Alden Smith said…
Kelvin. Very sorry to read this news. Your approach ".. keep fit, eat well, meditate and walk" is a wise strategy.

On this journey that we all are taking, you can continue to bless us all by telling your unique story through your truly great photographs and insightful writings. Thank you.

“Something of God... flows into us from the blue of the sky, the taste of honey, the delicious embrace of water whether cold or hot, and even from sleep itself.” C.S. Lewis

Alden

Popular posts from this blog

Ko Tangata Tiriti Ahau

    The Christmas before last our kids gave us Ancestry.com kits. You know the deal: you spit into a test tube, send it over to Ireland, and in a month or so you get a wadge of paper in the mail telling you who you are. I've never, previously, been interested in all that stuff. I knew my forbears came to Aotearoa in the 1850's from Britain but I didn't know from where, exactly. Clemency's results, as it turns out, were pretty interesting. She was born in England, but has ancestors from various European places, and some who are Ngāti Raukawa, so she can whakapapa back to a little marae called Kikopiri, near Ōtaki. And me? It turns out I'm more British than most British people. Apart from a smattering of Norse  - probably the result of some Viking raid in the dim distant past - all my tūpuna seem to have come from a little group of villages in Nottinghamshire.  Now I've been to the UK a few times, and I quite like it, but it's not home: my heart and soul belon...

Kindle

 Living as I do in a place where most books have to come a long way in an aeroplane, reading is an expensive addiction, and of course there is always the problem of shelf space. I have about 50 metres of shelving in my new study, but it is already full and there is not a lot of wall space left; and although it is great insulation, what is eventually going to happen to all that paper? I doubt my kids will want to fill their homes with old theological works, so most of my library is eventually going to end up as egg cartons. Ebooks are one solution to book cost and storage issues so I have been  using them for a while now, but their big problem has been finding suitable hardware to read them on.  I first read them on the tiny screens of Ipaqs and they were quite satisfactory but the wretchedness of Microsoft Reader and its somewhat arbitrary copyright protection system killed the experience entirely. On Palm devices they were OK except the plethora of competing and incomp...

En Hakkore

In the hills up behind Ranfurly there used to be a town, Hamilton, which at one stage was home to 5,000 people. All that remains of it now is a graveyard, fenced off and baking in the lonely brown hills. Near it, in the 1930s a large Sanitorium was built for the treatment of tuberculosis and other respiratory ailments. It was a substantial complex of buildings with wards, a nurses hostel, impressive houses for the manager and superintendent and all the utility buildings needed for such a large operation. The treatment offered consisted of isolation, views and weather. Patients were exposed to the air, the tons of it which whistled past, often at great speed, the warmth of the sun and the cold. They were housed in small cubicles opening onto huge glassed verandas where they cooked in the summer and froze in the winter and often, what with the wholesome food and the exercise, got better. When advances in antibiotics rendered the Sanitorium obsolete it was turned into a Borstal and...

The Traitor

A couple of people have questioned me privately about the Leonard Cohen song The Traitor , and about Cohen's comments on the song, "[The Traitor is about] the feeling we have of betraying some mission we were mandated to fulfill and being unable to fulfill it; then coming to understand that the real mandate was not to fulfill it; and the real courage is to stand guiltless in the predicament in which you find yourself". What on earth does he mean, and why am I so excited about it? For the latter, check with my psychiatrist. For the former, my take on the song is this: The Traitor is another of those instances, as in The Partisan , where Leonard Cohen uses a military metaphor to speak of life in general and human love in particular. Many of us hold high ideals: some great quest or other that we pursue. These are often laudable things: finding true love, finding the absolute love of God, becoming enlightened, spreading the Gospel, writing the great novel or some such ...

Camino, by David Whyte

This poem captures it perfectly Camino. The way forward, the way between things, the way already walked before you, the path disappearing and re-appearing even as the ground gave way beneath you, the grief apparent only in the moment of forgetting, then the river, the mountain, the lifting song of the Sky Lark inviting you over the rain filled pass when your legs had given up, and after, it would be dusk and the half-lit villages in evening light; other people's homes glimpsed through lighted windows and inside, other people's lives; your own home you had left crowding your memory as you looked to see a child playing or a mother moving from one side of a room to another, your eyes wet with the keen cold wind of Navarre. But your loss brought you here to walk under one name and one name only, and to find the guise under which all loss can live; remember you were given that name every day along the way, remember you were greeted as such, and you neede...